Apologies to TNA fans, this is going to be a quick summary of Impact due to the big story that requires coverage today.
Team Pacman promo.
Angle and Nash skit. Karen is going to suck more people in.
Team 3D vs Motor City Machine Guns no contest
Scott Steiner sees something entertaining is about to happen so he stops it. We get a Steiner beatdown instead.
MCMG make open challenge.
Voodoo Kin Mafia def. Motor City Machine Guns when BG James pinned Chris Sabin
Stupid short match. The return of The One and Only as a finisher? blah
Voodoo Kin then make an open challenge. Leads to a big brawl which we see about 3 seconds of
Cut to Karen Angle being stupid and trying to talk to Samoa Joe. I will sum up all the Karen skits here. She goes to each person, who is competing to become Angle's partner if they win. She, for some reason, tries to convince them to become Angle's partner. WTF?????? That's the point of the match, the 4 minutes spent on these skits could have been used to make the VKM vs MCMG match 5 minutes instead of 1 minute. FUCK TNA.
Sting def. Christian Cage, Samoa Joe, and AJ Styles via submission on AJ Styles.
Sweet match only high point of show.
If they are going to go 2 hours they need to be able to have more than one entertaing thing per show, or they will lose ratings. Fans are more likely to sit through 30 minutes of crap to see one good match than 90 minutes.
__________________________________
The shit has hit the fan.
The WWE has suspended 10 wrestlers and potentially 2 more for using steriods and steroid related drugs without a prescription. They have not reported names, but news organizations have released names of people who have done this. Here is the list as of this writing.
Randy Orton
Edge
Charlie Haas
Booker T
Gregory Helms
Mike Bucci
Santino Marella
John Morrison
William Regal
Mr. Kennedy
Chavo Guerrero
Funaki
Batista
Chris Masters
Umaga
Sylvain Grenier
Note all the details that have been release suggest these infractions happened AFTER the Wellness Policy was put in place.
Now some of them in detail
Randy Orton: He has been a problem outside the ring since they hired him. I happen to like his in ring work. That being said, fire this guy already. He obviously needs some time off to appreciate the opportunity he has been given.
Edge: LIAR!!!
Booker T: Giving those kids someone to look up to, huh? WTF Booker.
Gregory Helms: Was injured, may or not be legitimate, but if it was, he should have gone to a DOCTOR
Santino Marella: Just be glad you don't work for Cornette anymore. (you know I had to get at least one joke in.)
John Morrison: I bet they wished they had pulled the trigger on CM Punk now, huh? I bet he is having a good laugh.
William Regal: Odd, I know some people say there is no particular look for steroid users. While that is true, there is a TYPICAL look for one, as that is kinda the point of using them.
Mr. Kennedy: HUUUUUUUGE LIAR!!!...LIAR!
Chavo: Nothing on record past a few months after Eddie's death, maybe he got smart. If not WTF, Chavo. What is it going to take. You have arguably been impacted by drugs more than anyone else in the business today.
Batista: Duh
Masters: DUH!!!
Umaga: Why?
Sylvain Grenier: No longer employed by WWE, but was when he purchased the drugs.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
This week in news...August 30th
Several TNA wrestlers have been told that Impact will be going to two hours in October. Fantastic. This is a great thing. Let's hope that it improves the product.
Bryan Danielson has been injured and will not be able to compete in the NWA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament finals. This is a shame. He would have likely gone over here. NWA doesn't mean a whole lot anymore, but that title does. It is still referenced on WWE TV, and holding it could have given WWE a reason to hire him. Adam Pierce, who he beat in the semi-finals will take his place. Let's hope he recovers quickly.
Nick Bollea (Hogan) was in a high speed car accident. His friend was critically injured. Everybody should make it though, so they were lucky. He probably didn't feel so lucky when Hulk got him home though.
Sunny is hot again
Dusty is going to step away from the book probably. This is because he doesn't want a perception that Cody is getting pushed because of him. Gotta respect that. I am torn though, as Dusty as part of a team has seemingly had a positive influence on booking. Nothing lasts forever.
This weeks rumored WWE hires: D-Lo Brown, Matt Sydel and Rosey. Three talented guys. However, they only really need more people if they plan on making ECW two hours. Especially considering they have so many people who are returning from injury in the next few months.
This weeks rumored TNA hires: None of note
Ric Flair looks to be retiring soon. This is good, he has pressed his luck enough, I think. He should quit while he is still performing at a respectable level. No one wants to remember Ric Flair as a broken down old man who won't let go.
Bryan Danielson has been injured and will not be able to compete in the NWA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament finals. This is a shame. He would have likely gone over here. NWA doesn't mean a whole lot anymore, but that title does. It is still referenced on WWE TV, and holding it could have given WWE a reason to hire him. Adam Pierce, who he beat in the semi-finals will take his place. Let's hope he recovers quickly.
Nick Bollea (Hogan) was in a high speed car accident. His friend was critically injured. Everybody should make it though, so they were lucky. He probably didn't feel so lucky when Hulk got him home though.
Sunny is hot again
Dusty is going to step away from the book probably. This is because he doesn't want a perception that Cody is getting pushed because of him. Gotta respect that. I am torn though, as Dusty as part of a team has seemingly had a positive influence on booking. Nothing lasts forever.
This weeks rumored WWE hires: D-Lo Brown, Matt Sydel and Rosey. Three talented guys. However, they only really need more people if they plan on making ECW two hours. Especially considering they have so many people who are returning from injury in the next few months.
This weeks rumored TNA hires: None of note
Ric Flair looks to be retiring soon. This is good, he has pressed his luck enough, I think. He should quit while he is still performing at a respectable level. No one wants to remember Ric Flair as a broken down old man who won't let go.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
ECW Results
John Morrison enters with wind machine and slow motion. He advertises the main event and puts himself over.
Kevin Thorn def. Stevie Richards via pinfall
This is every other match they have had Thorn is brutal Stevie gets in some kicks. Thorn wins.
Miz taunts Balls some more.
Elijah Burk def Balls Mahoney via pinfall
Miz and Extreme Expose are at ringside. This was decent, nothing too exciting. All the normal spots. Elijah gets the Express for the win. Kelly comforts Balls.
CM Punk def. The Miz, Big Daddy V, and The Boogeyman via pinfall on the Miz to become #1 Contender for the ECW Championship
Again good, but nothing special. They protect Boogey and V by having them take big bumps, so they are not involved in the finished. CM Punk beats Miz with the moves of doom.
Overall, blah.
Kevin Thorn def. Stevie Richards via pinfall
This is every other match they have had Thorn is brutal Stevie gets in some kicks. Thorn wins.
Miz taunts Balls some more.
Elijah Burk def Balls Mahoney via pinfall
Miz and Extreme Expose are at ringside. This was decent, nothing too exciting. All the normal spots. Elijah gets the Express for the win. Kelly comforts Balls.
CM Punk def. The Miz, Big Daddy V, and The Boogeyman via pinfall on the Miz to become #1 Contender for the ECW Championship
Again good, but nothing special. They protect Boogey and V by having them take big bumps, so they are not involved in the finished. CM Punk beats Miz with the moves of doom.
Overall, blah.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Raw Results
Randy Orton whines, bringing out Cena. Cena marks out for HHH in a disgusting display. Somehow he believes that by winning one match HHH deserves a shot at him. Yeah, that makes sense. This brings out Regal, who refuses to call anyone Sunshine (damn him). He proceeds to make even less sense by saying that Booker, who lost to HHH deserves that shot. Great. Once again, we are back to Regal likes Booker just because Regal is English and Booker is a king. We end the segment with Cena denying an RKO attempt and making Orton his bitch.
Hardy def. Kennedy by DQ
This was a good match, Kennedy sold like a pro. During the match, JR proves that he really doesn't watch UFC, by showing he has no fucking idea what ground and pound means. There was also a sick spot with Kennedy putting his knees up to block the Swanton. If only Gorilla Monsoon were still alive doing play-by-play, "He just broke Jeff in half, literally". Then Jamala came down and chased off Kennedy and went all crazy on Jeffrey. So they had You-maga go face just so they could have him fill in for a couple of matches. WTF is that? Maybe he is a tweener now, I don't know.
Father and son compare power walks.
Carlito's Cabana
Vince is our guest. He threatens to sue the mother of his bastard child for emotional distress in two weeks if she doesn't reveal his son's identity. Triple H comes out and introduces some fat chicks that Vince has banged. Vince plays along. Then out comes Carilto's "sister". Carlito is pissed. Vince says they thought Carly was sleeping. I have a hard time imagining a scenario where this happens and Vince isn't a pedo. Fantastic. And finally we get a tranny. Oh yeah, and Vince loves cocks. You know, sophomoric humor was funny when I was...a sophomore in high school. This was a waste of time. Vince leaves, Carlito waits around for his Pedigree. HHH is taking his time, so Carlito gets impatient and demands his pedigree, NOW. HHH gives in.
Cody Rhodes, Paul London and Brian Kendrick def. TWGTT and Daivari when Cody pinned Daivari
Decent match, not much of note. Cody wins with a flying cross body, when is the last time you have seen that? Also, what is up with Haas's tights? And Shelton's hair?
We come back from commercial and "The pride of Detroit" is still spouting Pharsi. Guess what Cryme Tyme sells this week. Cade and Murdoch come for revenge, but just get Cade's hat stolen and given away. Isn't knowingly receiving stolen property a crime. I guess heels don't know that they could just call the police. Cuz their evil.
Orton treats Vince's office like a hotel room. Vince, had to remind him that they were live, I think. As the stare down at the beginning was awfully long. Vince finally screamed "WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT?" all impatient like. Vince says Randy needs to earn his shot.
Beth Pheonix kills Maria before the bell for a No Contest
Grisham's Corner with Candice. Snitsky interupts to remind us he likes to hurt people.
Regal tells Vince that the rest of the McMahon's are bringing their lawyer's next week.
John Cena def. King Booker via DQ
Cena shows us how to have a match with Booker. Good stuff. And we are in Boston, so "Let's go Booker" chants replace "Cena Sucks". Randy does the run-in. They beat down Cena. Booker leaves. Cena seems ready to deliver the concussionator to Cena, but stops at the last second. He bolts out of the ring, flips Cena's dad over the barricade and kicks his head into the gorilla position. That was fucking brutal.
Some entertaining stuff, kinda sucks that out of 4 matches we get 1 finish. But, going any further into that is beating a dead horse.
Hardy def. Kennedy by DQ
This was a good match, Kennedy sold like a pro. During the match, JR proves that he really doesn't watch UFC, by showing he has no fucking idea what ground and pound means. There was also a sick spot with Kennedy putting his knees up to block the Swanton. If only Gorilla Monsoon were still alive doing play-by-play, "He just broke Jeff in half, literally". Then Jamala came down and chased off Kennedy and went all crazy on Jeffrey. So they had You-maga go face just so they could have him fill in for a couple of matches. WTF is that? Maybe he is a tweener now, I don't know.
Father and son compare power walks.
Carlito's Cabana
Vince is our guest. He threatens to sue the mother of his bastard child for emotional distress in two weeks if she doesn't reveal his son's identity. Triple H comes out and introduces some fat chicks that Vince has banged. Vince plays along. Then out comes Carilto's "sister". Carlito is pissed. Vince says they thought Carly was sleeping. I have a hard time imagining a scenario where this happens and Vince isn't a pedo. Fantastic. And finally we get a tranny. Oh yeah, and Vince loves cocks. You know, sophomoric humor was funny when I was...a sophomore in high school. This was a waste of time. Vince leaves, Carlito waits around for his Pedigree. HHH is taking his time, so Carlito gets impatient and demands his pedigree, NOW. HHH gives in.
Cody Rhodes, Paul London and Brian Kendrick def. TWGTT and Daivari when Cody pinned Daivari
Decent match, not much of note. Cody wins with a flying cross body, when is the last time you have seen that? Also, what is up with Haas's tights? And Shelton's hair?
We come back from commercial and "The pride of Detroit" is still spouting Pharsi. Guess what Cryme Tyme sells this week. Cade and Murdoch come for revenge, but just get Cade's hat stolen and given away. Isn't knowingly receiving stolen property a crime. I guess heels don't know that they could just call the police. Cuz their evil.
Orton treats Vince's office like a hotel room. Vince, had to remind him that they were live, I think. As the stare down at the beginning was awfully long. Vince finally screamed "WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT?" all impatient like. Vince says Randy needs to earn his shot.
Beth Pheonix kills Maria before the bell for a No Contest
Grisham's Corner with Candice. Snitsky interupts to remind us he likes to hurt people.
Regal tells Vince that the rest of the McMahon's are bringing their lawyer's next week.
John Cena def. King Booker via DQ
Cena shows us how to have a match with Booker. Good stuff. And we are in Boston, so "Let's go Booker" chants replace "Cena Sucks". Randy does the run-in. They beat down Cena. Booker leaves. Cena seems ready to deliver the concussionator to Cena, but stops at the last second. He bolts out of the ring, flips Cena's dad over the barricade and kicks his head into the gorilla position. That was fucking brutal.
Some entertaining stuff, kinda sucks that out of 4 matches we get 1 finish. But, going any further into that is beating a dead horse.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Summerslam Results/What would you book?
Kane def. Finlay via pinfall
Umaga def Kennedy and Carliot via pinfall on Kennedy to retain the IC Title
Rey def Chavo via pinfall
Beth Pheonix wins Battle Royal by eliminating Michelle McCool
Matt Hardy def. MVP in a beer-drinking Contest via Breaking Glass
Morrison def. Punk via pinfall to retain the ECW Title
HHH def. Booker via pinfall
Batista def. Khali via DQ - Khali retains the World Heavyweight Title
Cena def. Orton via pinfall to retain the WWE Title
Decent little PPV, certainly better than Hard Justice. Nothing happened that had to be seen though. Rent or buy when released to DVD.
Rating: 6.5
_______________________________
What would you book?
This will be my regular Monday column. In it, I will give at least one idea of how I feel the next week should be booked. I encourage you, the reader, (and it may very well be readER, no S, at this point) to comment with ideas of your own.
This week I look at Raw.
Ok so, HHH is back and he proved he was the King of Kings, now what. I think this one is pretty simple and should be handled so. A backstage encounter where the H's pokes fun at Orton for losing, pointing out that he won his match. Orton forgets who he is talking to and points out he took HBK out. HHH beats young Randy into a pulp and a feud is born.
Also, tonight we need to get this paternity thing over with. It is starting to get stale, and I think they have gotten all the jokes out of it they are going to get. This week Coach reveals that it is, in fact, Mr. Kennedy. Everyone is happy, and Vince celebrates by giving his new son a WWE Title match at Unforgiven. I understand that this seems a bit boring so stay with me. The Raw after Unforgiven, during the celebration of Kennedy winning the title, out comes a woman who turns out to be Vince's fling. She reveals that Vince's real son is...Todd Grisham. Kennedy rolls on the floor laughing hysterically and Vince tells him to get out of his sight. Vince spends the next few weeks trying to appease Grisham so he doesn't have to pay up. OK I know that is kind of silly, but we have already seen them tease Kane as Vince's son. Hey Mr. Continuity, remember when we did a DNA test to prove that Paul Bearer is Kane's father. Kane is the one person we KNOW isn't Vince's kid and they can't even follow that.
Anyway looking forward to reading some of your ideas.
Umaga def Kennedy and Carliot via pinfall on Kennedy to retain the IC Title
Rey def Chavo via pinfall
Beth Pheonix wins Battle Royal by eliminating Michelle McCool
Matt Hardy def. MVP in a beer-drinking Contest via Breaking Glass
Morrison def. Punk via pinfall to retain the ECW Title
HHH def. Booker via pinfall
Batista def. Khali via DQ - Khali retains the World Heavyweight Title
Cena def. Orton via pinfall to retain the WWE Title
Decent little PPV, certainly better than Hard Justice. Nothing happened that had to be seen though. Rent or buy when released to DVD.
Rating: 6.5
_______________________________
What would you book?
This will be my regular Monday column. In it, I will give at least one idea of how I feel the next week should be booked. I encourage you, the reader, (and it may very well be readER, no S, at this point) to comment with ideas of your own.
This week I look at Raw.
Ok so, HHH is back and he proved he was the King of Kings, now what. I think this one is pretty simple and should be handled so. A backstage encounter where the H's pokes fun at Orton for losing, pointing out that he won his match. Orton forgets who he is talking to and points out he took HBK out. HHH beats young Randy into a pulp and a feud is born.
Also, tonight we need to get this paternity thing over with. It is starting to get stale, and I think they have gotten all the jokes out of it they are going to get. This week Coach reveals that it is, in fact, Mr. Kennedy. Everyone is happy, and Vince celebrates by giving his new son a WWE Title match at Unforgiven. I understand that this seems a bit boring so stay with me. The Raw after Unforgiven, during the celebration of Kennedy winning the title, out comes a woman who turns out to be Vince's fling. She reveals that Vince's real son is...Todd Grisham. Kennedy rolls on the floor laughing hysterically and Vince tells him to get out of his sight. Vince spends the next few weeks trying to appease Grisham so he doesn't have to pay up. OK I know that is kind of silly, but we have already seen them tease Kane as Vince's son. Hey Mr. Continuity, remember when we did a DNA test to prove that Paul Bearer is Kane's father. Kane is the one person we KNOW isn't Vince's kid and they can't even follow that.
Anyway looking forward to reading some of your ideas.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
SummerSlam Preview
Well, let's start with the lineup, shall we?
Finlay vs. Kane
the H's vs. King Bookah
Rey "I didn't do no roids" Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
Diva Battle Royal - Woman's Championship #1 Contender
Umaga (c) vs. Vince's Kid vs. Carlito - IC Championship
John "Don't call me Jim" Morrison (c) vs. CM Punk - ECW Championship
Khali (c) vs. Batista - World Heavyweight Championship
"The Immortal" John Cena (c) vs. Randy Orton - WWE Championship
Finlay v. Kane
I like Finlay. I like Kane. Yet, I think that this match might make the baby Jesus cry. I am not seeing any chemistry, and somewhere Jericho is having Deja Vu. Either Finlay will use the Shackalacky or Kane will defy logic and win despite having recently lost to a bearhug.
Prediction: Kane
HHH v. Booker
I have mixed feelings about this one. It really depends on HHH. If he has trained and is mobile, this should be good. If he (as he has had a tendency in the past) comes back looking like the lost Man on a Mission or like the guy who injected Scott Steiner, this will suck.
Prediction: (du)HHH
Rey v. Chavo
Rey, I kid because I love. These guys can go and this will likely be match of the night. Even if they botch everything, the crowd will still be into it, and that is what counts.
Prediction: Rey
Diva Battle Royal
T and A. The smart thing to do would have Beth Pheonix win, so...
Prediction: Michelle McCool
Umaga v Kennedy v Carlito
This will establish Umaga as a monster face. It seems every brand needs one now. Should be a good match.
Prediction: Umaga
Morrison v Punk
Johnny has certainly picked things up lately, and Punk is Punk. What else could you want. I don't think they will pull the Punk trigger yet.
Prediction: Morrison
Khali v. Batista
Khali has been surprising lately. Big Dave has started looking good again also. My guess is that is because someone told him he is going over. Look at how bad he performed when he wasn't going to win. Just an observation.
Prediction: Batista
Cena v. Orton
I have actually wanted to see these guys go at it for a while. When they were starting out, I actually picked Orton as the next huge star. Oh well. Probably a DQ ending stretching out the feud or leading to Cena's next feud.
Prediction: Cena
Finlay vs. Kane
the H's vs. King Bookah
Rey "I didn't do no roids" Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
Diva Battle Royal - Woman's Championship #1 Contender
Umaga (c) vs. Vince's Kid vs. Carlito - IC Championship
John "Don't call me Jim" Morrison (c) vs. CM Punk - ECW Championship
Khali (c) vs. Batista - World Heavyweight Championship
"The Immortal" John Cena (c) vs. Randy Orton - WWE Championship
Finlay v. Kane
I like Finlay. I like Kane. Yet, I think that this match might make the baby Jesus cry. I am not seeing any chemistry, and somewhere Jericho is having Deja Vu. Either Finlay will use the Shackalacky or Kane will defy logic and win despite having recently lost to a bearhug.
Prediction: Kane
HHH v. Booker
I have mixed feelings about this one. It really depends on HHH. If he has trained and is mobile, this should be good. If he (as he has had a tendency in the past) comes back looking like the lost Man on a Mission or like the guy who injected Scott Steiner, this will suck.
Prediction: (du)HHH
Rey v. Chavo
Rey, I kid because I love. These guys can go and this will likely be match of the night. Even if they botch everything, the crowd will still be into it, and that is what counts.
Prediction: Rey
Diva Battle Royal
T and A. The smart thing to do would have Beth Pheonix win, so...
Prediction: Michelle McCool
Umaga v Kennedy v Carlito
This will establish Umaga as a monster face. It seems every brand needs one now. Should be a good match.
Prediction: Umaga
Morrison v Punk
Johnny has certainly picked things up lately, and Punk is Punk. What else could you want. I don't think they will pull the Punk trigger yet.
Prediction: Morrison
Khali v. Batista
Khali has been surprising lately. Big Dave has started looking good again also. My guess is that is because someone told him he is going over. Look at how bad he performed when he wasn't going to win. Just an observation.
Prediction: Batista
Cena v. Orton
I have actually wanted to see these guys go at it for a while. When they were starting out, I actually picked Orton as the next huge star. Oh well. Probably a DQ ending stretching out the feud or leading to Cena's next feud.
Prediction: Cena
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