Raw Results

Randy Orton whines, bringing out Cena. Cena marks out for HHH in a disgusting display. Somehow he believes that by winning one match HHH deserves a shot at him. Yeah, that makes sense. This brings out Regal, who refuses to call anyone Sunshine (damn him). He proceeds to make even less sense by saying that Booker, who lost to HHH deserves that shot. Great. Once again, we are back to Regal likes Booker just because Regal is English and Booker is a king. We end the segment with Cena denying an RKO attempt and making Orton his bitch.

Hardy def. Kennedy by DQ
This was a good match, Kennedy sold like a pro. During the match, JR proves that he really doesn't watch UFC, by showing he has no fucking idea what ground and pound means. There was also a sick spot with Kennedy putting his knees up to block the Swanton. If only Gorilla Monsoon were still alive doing play-by-play, "He just broke Jeff in half, literally". Then Jamala came down and chased off Kennedy and went all crazy on Jeffrey. So they had You-maga go face just so they could have him fill in for a couple of matches. WTF is that? Maybe he is a tweener now, I don't know.

Father and son compare power walks.

Carlito's Cabana
Vince is our guest. He threatens to sue the mother of his bastard child for emotional distress in two weeks if she doesn't reveal his son's identity. Triple H comes out and introduces some fat chicks that Vince has banged. Vince plays along. Then out comes Carilto's "sister". Carlito is pissed. Vince says they thought Carly was sleeping. I have a hard time imagining a scenario where this happens and Vince isn't a pedo. Fantastic. And finally we get a tranny. Oh yeah, and Vince loves cocks. You know, sophomoric humor was funny when I was...a sophomore in high school. This was a waste of time. Vince leaves, Carlito waits around for his Pedigree. HHH is taking his time, so Carlito gets impatient and demands his pedigree, NOW. HHH gives in.

Cody Rhodes, Paul London and Brian Kendrick def. TWGTT and Daivari when Cody pinned Daivari
Decent match, not much of note. Cody wins with a flying cross body, when is the last time you have seen that? Also, what is up with Haas's tights? And Shelton's hair?

We come back from commercial and "The pride of Detroit" is still spouting Pharsi. Guess what Cryme Tyme sells this week. Cade and Murdoch come for revenge, but just get Cade's hat stolen and given away. Isn't knowingly receiving stolen property a crime. I guess heels don't know that they could just call the police. Cuz their evil.

Orton treats Vince's office like a hotel room. Vince, had to remind him that they were live, I think. As the stare down at the beginning was awfully long. Vince finally screamed "WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT?" all impatient like. Vince says Randy needs to earn his shot.

Beth Pheonix kills Maria before the bell for a No Contest

Grisham's Corner with Candice. Snitsky interupts to remind us he likes to hurt people.

Regal tells Vince that the rest of the McMahon's are bringing their lawyer's next week.

John Cena def. King Booker via DQ
Cena shows us how to have a match with Booker. Good stuff. And we are in Boston, so "Let's go Booker" chants replace "Cena Sucks". Randy does the run-in. They beat down Cena. Booker leaves. Cena seems ready to deliver the concussionator to Cena, but stops at the last second. He bolts out of the ring, flips Cena's dad over the barricade and kicks his head into the gorilla position. That was fucking brutal.

Some entertaining stuff, kinda sucks that out of 4 matches we get 1 finish. But, going any further into that is beating a dead horse.